May 02 2012
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Rah Rah! (Encouragement), Thoughtful

Talking…it’s how EVERYTHING gets done

I have a small admission to make: I stink at small talk. Flop sweat, stammering, a too-loud laugh…you can watch me do ALL THREE if we’re strangers and you ask me a question. (It’s like a three ring circus for my personal insecurities. Where’s the cotton candy??)

The only time I’m really good at it is when my conversation partner stumbles (or strategically hits) upon one of my strengths or passions…when it doesn’t? Well, I’m as awkward as I was in junior high.

But – and here’s the thing – small talk is the very thing that invites larger conversations, that finds common ground. You have to be willing to expose personal parts of your life to make those connections…trying to seem too with-it, too professional will leave you with nothing to talk about except for your resume. But oversharing is also, obviously, a conversation-killer. (AWK-ward.)

Lifehacker has a good one-size-fits-all tip: share small details. Bringing up a topic that you’re passionate about, whether work-related, or concerned with affairs beyond the office walls (family! great restaurants! travel! books! youtube!), is an easy entry into a rewarding conversation. Because no one wants to spend all night talking platitudes…case studies are much more interesting.

Puttylike shares two other benchmarks that ring true to yours truly:

  1. We all want to connect with other people, but we just need to feel safe first.
  2. If you open up, others will, too.

Performers, you’re accustomed to putting yourself out there in every audition, every performance – to give a piece of yourself to any number of largely anonymous audition panels, audiences. You can do this!

As you’re vetting a new career, finding those points of entry can become even more crucial…advice, anecdotes, even connections for professional advancement can all lie in your ability to make connections. The good news? Is that you’re already fantastically equipped to do just that.

Apr 30 2012
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Rah Rah! (Encouragement), Thoughtful

gaping voids, full of cartoons.

I’m a big fan of Hugh MacLeod. Have been for years. I get his daily email, that usually has a bright, graphic doodle (I hope that’s not an offensive term: it’s an abstract line drawing, to be less casual) that accompanies a strong thought or a pithy adage.

See, this is a career path that’s both creative and non-traditional. He took something that he enjoyed doing (i.e. writing modern-day adages) and used a medium that was infinitely accessible (pen & ink on the back of business cards).

Now, if you pitched that to someone:

“Hey. I’m going to draw cartoons on the back of business cards. And I’m going to share small snippets of real-life wisdom. And, on the backs of these tiny business cards, I’m going to build a MEDIA EMPIRE. Mwahahahaaaaaaaa!”

Yep. They’d likely ask the bartender to cut you off, and call you a cab.

But he did it. Because he realized that his art was accessible, and that there was a social component to what he wanted to do.

He’s an artist. But he didn’t spend years in the studio, working through academic crits, being graded refining his craft. He did those things while sitting at a pub, talking to people – there was a community aspect to what he did that integrated his love of the visual.

He found his sweet spot.

Do you have things that you’re passionate about, but that couldn’t possibly coexist in the same career?

And, are you willing to rethink that “couldn’t possibly coexist” clause?

Apr 27 2012
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Profile Phriday, Profiles

Finding the through line: Sean McAuliffe – from Songwriting to Software Design to… Songwriting?


Sean started his undergraduate career as a Vocal Performance/Composition major at Carnegie Mellon, and currently works as a Multimedia Designer. Here’s his story:

I went to a private prep school in Baltimore. My mom worked there so I was able to go for a very reduced cost. My parents never would have been able to send me there otherwise. I was a horrible student — I never had any motivation to do school work. But if it was something creative I would be very motivated. So I did well in creative writing classes, art classes, music, etc. I didn’t become seriously interested in music until I was around 12 or so. When my grandfather died we got his piano, an old upright which I still have. He was a very talented jazz piano player who played in a small group in Baltimore. I began to tinker on the piano and immediately discovered an aptitude for making up my own little melodies and songs. I took lessons for one year and did none of the work that was required. I hated the practicing. My teacher told me I was a very talented improviser, and since it came naturally that’s what I focused on. I started to consider the idea of becoming a “songwriter.” I also liked jazz and did pretty well improvising over basic bluesy stuff – but I was never motivated enough to really develop the technical chops required.

My parents learned about a school for young composers called the Walden School – it was every July in New Hampshire. Many of the teachers were from Peabody Conservatory in Baltimore, but there were many from other places as well.  I went for 3 summers, and it really changed me in a lot of ways. I grew as a musician, and by the end, I started to think of myself as more of a legitimate “musician” rather than someone who was “into” music. At the same time, I never felt like I was the same as the other students. They had started at a very early age and were very accomplished technically. Almost all of them were excellent players as well as composers – they could sight read (which I never learned to do), they listened to classical music and contemporary “serious” music and seemed to operate on an intellectual level I didn’t.

During my senior year in high school I was really doing a lot of music. I was in a band with some friends (we were pretty serious – we played actual gigs in clubs and recorded a demo in a studio), I was in a “folky” singing group with some classmates, I was starting to write a lot of songs and had picked up the guitar, and I was encouraged to try out for the school musical (The Mikado). This still makes me cringe, but when I auditioned for the musical, I sang a James Taylor song. They stopped me in the middle of it, and one of the teachers pushed me to open my voice up and do some “real” singing. It was pretty embarrassing, she stopped the whole audition and in front of all these people was giving me an impromptu voice lesson. But suddenly it clicked and this booming voice came out. Everybody looked sort of stunned. She gave me the part of the Mikado and she also pushed me to study voice and apply to Carnegie Mellon as a voice major.

Since I had also had the composing experience and was interested in that as well, I applied as a Voice/Composition double-major. I got in. I really had no idea what I was getting into.

So, you got in! And then you got out…

I left the music school after one year. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew I wasn’t going to do what my peers were doing. There was a real “weeding-out” process at CMU which I resented at the time, but looking back I appreciate. There were like 20 or 25 freshman voice majors, but the graduating class was about half that. When I looked at who those people were and compared them to myself – I knew I had to get out.

I still felt that I would be some sort of musician professionally, but I didn’t want to take an academic route. I had an uncle who had a recording studio in Jersey and I would go there during the summers and work and record songs. I really started to think that that was how it would go – I would work for him, start to meet other musicians who were more into popular music, and maybe get lucky somehow. Someone would “discover” me. I did go to work for him. I worked for him for 10 years! It took me in a completely different direction though – I discovered a real love of computers and the technical side of things. I trained to become a recording engineer and worked in postproduction for about 6 years. I somehow miraculously transitioned to multimedia design and programming – but that’s a whole other story… (editor: and one that we’ll look forward to hearing in installment two…)

Decision time. 

There was a definite point at which I stopped being something-until-I-make-it-as-a-musician, and just became something. I used to feel the need to qualify myself when I told people what I did (I’m a recording engineer – but I’m really a songwriter). I was saying it to myself more than anyone.

Taking the pressure off of myself to “make it” as a musician, whatever that meant at the time, was what I needed to do. I began to hate making music at a certain point – and that scared me. For a little while after college I was writing music for commercials. I would get so incredibly stressed out I would get sick over each job. I couldn’t detach myself from it. Every criticism was like a knife in my heart. I still face the same thing as a designer, but since it’s not music, somehow I’m able to brush it off. Part of that was just growing up. But I also know that music is just something that’s too personal to me to detach myself from.

Do you regret it?

There’s part of me that regrets it, and I worry that a lot of the decision was based on fear and not wanting to do the hard work. There is some truth to that. But I made the decision myself, and it was the right one for me. Looking back, I know now and I’m not the kind of person that can focus on one thing for too long. That’s not something I would recommend for anyone, because it’s a heck of a lot easier to get by in the world when you’re an expert in something and are driven to excel in one particular field. Your path is defined and as long as you stick to it and do the work, the world will usually reward you for it. To this day, I still can’t resist peeking down the other paths and dropping what I’m doing to go see what’s down there. Luckily, I’ve been able to do that and support my family! But there’s been a lot of luck involved.

Well, what would you have done differently?

There are things that I learned about myself later that surprised me, and looking back, I wish I’d been aware of them. If I was applying to CMU again, I’d have no question about what major I would pick from day one. It would be computer science. That pretty much sums it up right there I think — how the hell would I have known that at 18?  I know so many people who knew exactly what they wanted, and went and got it. There was never any question. I used to wish so much that I was that way. Looking back, I’m so glad I’m not. I’ve been fortunate that I could make a living being that way, because it makes things much more challenging.

Challenges, huh? Tell us more!

I’ve been doing a lot of songwriting and recording at home this year. I’ve got 9 songs in the can and I’ve put them on SoundCloud, and have also created a Facebook page for my music. I’ve gotten a lot of encouraging feedback so far.


Stay tuned: Sean will be back to talk with us a little more about creative process as his personal through-line.

Apr 23 2012
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Thoughtful

Monday Inspiration

…courtesy of Grant Snider over at Incidental Comics.

from Grant Snider's Incidental Comics

Because sometimes? The only way you recognize which path you’re on is by looking in the rear-view mirror…

Apr 20 2012
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Profile Phriday, Profiles

Tonya McKinny – from Actress/Model to Around-the-World Mom

Tonya McKinny started her professional life armed with degrees in acting and women’s studies. She now finds herself in the role of a lifetime as an on-the-road mom (as opposed to a stay-at-home-mom) and wife to a professional opera singer. Here’s a little bit about her background, and the different hats she wears in a day.

How did you get started?

I earned my undergraduate degree at Portland State University,  a double major in Women’s Studies and Theatre Arts (BS)  and then attended University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee (MFA). I also spent a summer at ACT in San Francisco, 6 months at the National School for Drama and Dance in New Zealand and a short study at the National Theatre Academy of China in Beijing and I did 6 months at the University of Louisville and volunteered at the Actors Theatre of Louisville. The funny thing is that I didn’t actually want to go to college, and my senior year of HS I got very very sick and didn’t apply anywhere.  My sister, an over-achiever, was applying to several out of state law schools and we agreed that I would go to which ever town she went to and go to school there.  She choose Lewis and Clark in Oregon and I went to PSU. While there, I got some good advice; “choose a city you want to live in or go to grad school”.  I went to grad school.  (I’m Cherokee Indian and school was free for me, so why quit and get a job?)  I went to UWM because I had met the head of the department while volunteering once and thought I could learn something from him.  And I did.  I was a very good actress.

When did you decide to change career paths?

When I met Ryan.

Really?

Yep. So I’m a trained actor, living and working in NYC. I had just auditioned for a tour, was working on a show and in a Columbia student film (that director won the Sundance award last year and now she’s famous!). I was busy!  And then I met Ryan. Two weeks later I got the call from the tour and they offered me the job and a 6 month contract… and I remember talking to Ryan about it and decided that I’d rather see how it worked out with him instead of leaving town for 6 months.  So basically I decided then that my career wasn’t as important as I had thought it was.  I don’t regret staying in NYC with him and then giving up theatre.  I miss the theatre.  All the time, but I love my family more.  (There’s enough drama here.  I’m sure you understand.) We also decided before we became engaged that I would travel with him, and we knew that meant no acting for me.  When we moved to Houston, I found out I was pregnant and that was the end of all auditioning for me.

Whoa! It’s a love story! 

It is!

So, What have been the big surprises in the ensuing years?

I didn’t miss the career as much as I thought I would. And I’m really surprised at how everyone else reacted.  I’m so tired of people thinking that “I need something for me.” (That really just feels like something else I’m supposed to do so that I don’t disappoint everyone else.) As far as positives, I’m not lonely and poor living in NYC as I always thought I’d be.  But on the negative side, no one claps for me, and my job is never over and finding time for myself is a huge struggle, though Louis will sometimes give me a “Brava” after we sing “twinkle twinkle little star”. Bless him.  The hard times are just as bad as I expected, but the good times are better than I ever dreamed and it evens out and usually the good wins by a landslide. I’m proud of us for doing what other people tell us is stupid and won’t work.  We are just making it up as we go along and so what?  Just because no one else has thought of it before doesn’t mean it’s impossible.

I love my life just the way it is – seeing the world with the love of my life and my family.

****

Wow. Sounds like it’s all first class and bon bons

Ha. While there are pretty dresses sometimes, being the “Stage Manager” of our lives, with two small kids and a husband with an international freelance opera career is a pretty complicated job. I wear more hats in a day than I can count.

Really? Take me through a typical day.

Ok. Here’s a normal, non-performance day – this is the routine regardless of what country we’re in: US, Germany, Switzerland, whatever.

Our day starts at 6:30am.

  • The kids wake up (they’re remarkable consistent, regardless of where we are in the world…which in and of itself can be a challenge). My first job? Short order cook. Gotta get food in their bellies.
  • Maid. Clean up the breakfast dishes and the table.
  • Teacher. I homeschool Emma often (in some European countries it’s illegal, so in those spots she’ll attend public school); we have a routine, and there are requirements that she needs to complete each day.
  • Simultaneously, I’m an entertainer, helping to keep Louis occupied while Emma works on schoolwork. We spend about 90 minutes doing this in the morning. (And let’s be honest, sometimes I’m a mediator between the two kids.)
  • We then head out of the house, often to the gym. The kids get craft time with the instructor, and I either work out or spend the time in the lounge getting our files in order – insurance, taxes, travel plans. So I guess this would be my CFO time.
  • Back to nourishment procurement – it’s lunch!
  • After lunch Louis goes down for a nap, and Emma has unstructured play time. (There are two rules: no technology, and the play has to be self-directed so that I can get some things done. Often this is domestic stuff (laundry, etc.) or else I’m in scheduler mode, looking at then next few moves, thinking ahead to make plans for the kids, and working with Ryan to make sure that our family schedule syncs with his professional schedule.
  • Stealth educator.   (ed. would that be a  ‘Steducator’?)After Louis wakes up, we do something outside the house. I work about three cities ahead to schedule activities for the kids: library visits, children’s museums, NASA, playdates…it’s learning disguised as play.
  • Personal shopper. We swing by the grocery store to grab dinner and breakfast fixings.
  • When we’re together and Ryan’s not in rehearsal we have dinner together as a family. Ryan usually cooks. After dinner we all clean up together, and engage in some serious fun before dessert. (We’re big fans of chase!)
  • Chanteuse. After dessert it’s bedtime for the kids. We sing to them. (ed: it must be a little intimidating to sing for a opera singer, even when you’re married to them. Right?)  I love singing, but try singing around an Opera singer sometime.  It’s not a good idea.  Especially if they love you.
  • Once the kids are asleep it’s time for more paperwork: Negotiator (a recent example -for a car. It’s so much easier to do online, without the haggling!), Travel Agent (researching flights for Ryan’s next gigs), Event Planner (finding activities for the kids to do for the next several gigs – I usually work 2 gigs out, trying to place them in activities). When that’s done, I’ll add Blogger to my list, as I write for a few travel mom and expat sites (www.trekaroo.com is my favorite – check it out!), and I keep up with a wide range of folks through their blogs.

Obviously, there are differences for travel days and for Ryan’s performance days…but this is the normal routine. And because we move every 4-6 weeks, we tend to plan get-togethers with friends as often as we can, wherever we happen to be – I guess you can add Party Planner to the list! Maybe especially because we are on the go so much, I want to share these amazing experiences with my kids and friends in a way that underlines how special they are. Some people would say that we’re nomads, but I disagree. Everywhere’s our neighborhood. Oh, and a tip – until you bake something, you’re not home. So you can definitely add baker to the list.

And I also have to say Collaborator is the one title that’s not on the list, but is a big part of my day: Ryan, even when he’s singing, only spends a few hours away from this same list…we’re a team, in every sense of the word.

So, what traits/skills have you carried forward from your academic and professional lives?

Oh a love for the arts has been a big help, and of course a love for and knowledge of the stories that relate to opera helps me to talk out the shows with Ryan.  It also helps that I’m not afraid and am actually comfortable with just about anyone, so all the dinners and events and new towns aren’t a big challenge for me they’re  just part of the day.

What advice would you give to someone struggling with a similar decision?

Do what you can sleep with at night.  I had to try it – I went to NYC and I was a working and sometimes paid actor with an independent  movie and some print modeling work, with an agent, and everything I thought I wanted and needed from life. It was very exciting – I loved it and I won’t trade those memories.  But I also loved working in the corporate and non profit worlds.

I also love being a mom.  Being Mom is the only thing I couldn’t give up.  This family is mine forever.  The shows were fun and at the time important, working was fulfilling, but this is who I am now.  We all change.  Change is good.  Just make sure it’s the change you can live with.


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Apr 18 2012
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Rah Rah! (Encouragement), Thoughtful

Odds and Ends

I spent Monday home sick…it’s not often that I get my butt kicked sideways by a bug, but I’ve learned at this point that the absolute worst thing I can do is drag myself to the office on days like this: contaminating my space and my colleagues, feeling like crud, and usually getting little to no work of quality accomplished.

It’s a lose-lose situation, if you will.

So instead I napped on the couch, listened to the landscapers banter in Spanish as they planted three big ol’ Cypress trees in the yard, and started making my way through the unread items in my feed reader.

(As it turns out? I may in fact be in the running to star in Hoarders: Digital Media Edition. Yikes.)

But I did come across a few gems as pertains to the creative workforce:

  • What Recruiters Look For (via Lifehacker). They spend 6 seconds (! It makes a 16-bar audition slot look positively luxurious!) looking at your resume…best to make sure that those important things are easy to find…
  • Mentors. As creatives, we can all certainly name a specific teacher in our chosen discipline who served in that function. As you’re looking into something different, however, it’s as useful – perhaps even moreso – to find someone to help  you put your building blocks together in a  different way. And one of the points that Susan Adams makes that I love? You don’t have to have just one. There’s no competing-studio bias, no  teacher-centric cult-of-personality. (A refreshing thought, eh?)

And finally, this clip from John Cleese about creativity.  The clip I’ve posted is abbreviated, but Blurbomat has posted the entire lecture and it’s worth watching the whole way through. BrainPickings also pulls out several of the important points, so rather than reading my redundant ramblings, how about just taking a look-see?

Apr 16 2012
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Rah Rah! (Encouragement), Thoughtful

Discernment, part deux

As I said before, I’m a sucker for a good to-do list. I have no fewer than 3 apps to keep track of grocery lists, t
I stumbled across this article by Kathy Caprino this evening. (The 8 Stages of Career Transformation.) And I can remember, so very vividly, going through this process when I was finally deciding to invest my time and efforts in a career that wasn’t performance-based. But I’ll disagree with the author in one fundamental way: I don’t think that it’s a linear process, and I think that often these steps happen simultaneously. For example, Disengagement from one’s present circumstances can – and I think often does – happen at the same time as Discovery, when you’re delving deeply to find those things that ring your bell, so to speak. o-do lists, bucket lists, and everything in between. Lists, structured steps, plans of action: all important things to me, and a real hindrance to any kind of free-lance career.

What do you think? Is the list complete? Would you add anything? And, if you’re seeking, do you recognize your place on this list?

Apr 13 2012
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Uncategorized

Hold, please…

Hi friends,

I’m futzing with the layout and such, and have spent a little too much time tweaking layouts that don’t ultimately solve the problems, and much too little time editing profiles. If you have an opinion on the layout that you’d like to share, please do so in the comments or via email – I’d love to hear the ways in which you think we can make this better!

Stay tuned on April 20th for our next Profile Phriday! And thank you for your support and patience.

-Lee Anne

Apr 11 2012
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Thoughtful

Where the buck ($) stops.

Student loans.

We don’t like ’em.

Sure, we value what they enable: classes, guidance, a very special piece of paper that looks lovely framed on an office wall or teaching studio.

But be honest, how many of you really knew what you were signing up for by taking out those loans? Speaking personally, I knew very little, other than the fact that buying books and music (ok, and maybe dessert at Gullifty’s…that oreo cheesecake was my Achilles’ heel…) waited until that check hit my account. Rent, groceries, tights for dance class, parking fines…everything waited until the loan checks cleared and I was flush.

Fast forward many years and several jobs later. I am still paying off that oreo cheesecake, with interest, several times over. As a student looking at a job in law (or medicine, or other fields that require years of training,) there are examples -research – to give prospectives some idea of what they could earn as a professional. No guarantees, obviously, but at least they have an inkling of how many years it’ll take them to work their way out of their student loan debt.

Classical music? All bets are off. Undergraduate degrees. Master’s Degrees. Artist Diplomas. Young Artist programs. It’s a lot of expense, and a lot of debt on the shoulders of young artists, many of whom aren’t 100% sure that it’s their thing, or don’t really know what it actually entails. It’s difficult to dedicate yourself to an art form for which you spend as much time training as a physician, but earn less than the poverty standard. (And did I mention that your budget needs to include formalwear?)

The Times has an OpEd piece about some legislation that I think is largely overdue. Two senators have proposed disclosures about student loans, the different types that exist, and how to prioritize. I think it’s a good small step towards educating families and students about debt: but there needs to be another step for performing arts students (and studies like SNAAP are starting this part of the conversation) where they are given a realistic view of the lifestyle and the financial realities.

Come clean – are you still paying off your student loans?

Apr 09 2012
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Questions, Rah Rah! (Encouragement), Uncategorized

3BR, 2Bath in Search of a Second Career?

The New York Times today is celebrating several career changers who made the transition from performing careers (actresses, rappers, even a hand model!) to selling real estate. The performing aspects of sales, the flexible schedules, the professional autonomy, all plusses for many performers seeking out a Plan B.

Selling real estate has long been a second or third career choice for most agents, a place to turn when the children grew up or Plan A didn’t quite work out. And while in much of the country moonlighting homemakers and former lawyers dominate the field, New York City is a different story. Here, the arts are a magnet and the dreamers run thick, so the first career of your real estate broker might just be a doozy.

“People come to New York from far-off lands and states with a dream,” said Leonard Steinberg, a managing director at Prudential Douglas Elliman and a former fashion designer. “Oftentimes, those dreams don’t pan out as well as you’d like them to, and then you start looking at alternative careers.”

What do you think?

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